Introduction

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I have developed these pages in consultation with fellow worshippers Dzhon, Dzhrew and Dzhubchik as a short handbook to aid new acolytes (particularly those who are Russian language-challenged) and to help more developed worshippers spread the word. To that end, we have provided reviews of all of the Akvarium-related stuff we could find, sources for purchasing Akvarium stuff, information on Akvarium-related musicians, a growing collection of song translations, and a wish list of stuff we think ought to exist. You may also wish to visit the glossary so you don't get confused about basic terms.

To help guide you on your personal quest for enlightenment, watch for the great hermit yogi Milares-pa, famous for his devotional singing. He's a big Akvarium fan. If Mil's not around, watch for Gautama. The presence of either is your clue that the album they mark is Bodhisattva-recommended.

In addition, the Pilgrim's Ziggurat can guide you on your path from cherub-cheeked Initiate to wise-beyond-words Bodhisattva. Go thou, and begin your ascent to nirvana.

If you need a detailed and sober history of the band, extensive lists of lyrics, groovy photos or suchlike, check out the fine web sites on our resources page.

If, however, you feel you have a problem, if you have admitted to yourself that you no longer understand life before Akvarium, if you feel any band which has not experimented with kazoos and munchkin choruses is not really a band, if your burgeoning Akvarium habit has left you, or soon will leave you, unemployed, habitually drunk, spiritually debased or physically debilitated, you have come to the right place.

Soon you will learn to accept your state. Soon you will realize that your "problems" are merely symptoms, side-effects of your movement into a better existence.

To develop true and proper knowledge of the wonder that was and is Akvarium, pursue the following path:

In early stages you may need to call upon mantras for strength:

"...It's OK to worship... at the level of the cosmos, we are all 12 years old... my parents will be pleased that I have finally developed some sort of religious impulse..."

I should point out that Akvarium fans take a kind of celebrity Buddhist approach to their fandom, by which I mean that each fan claims his or her fandom, appreciation, depth of knowledge, etc., is MUCH MUCH more intense, deeply-felt, thorough, etc. Some may criticize this, but I feel it is appropriate.

Boris is, after all, Russia's only major celebrity Buddhist. It is just and proper that his fans worship him by comparing (to borrow a metaphor from a related religion) the relative heft and polish of their Shiva linghams.